eff brad childress and eff the steelers. that’s all i have to say this week.
numbers from caesars, home team in caps.
KC (+5) over sdo, o/u – 43.5, chiefs (+180) chargers (-220)
i really don’t have a much a feel for this game. the chargers are way behind in the division race against the broncos and their season is teetering on the brink of collapse. remember this is the team that everyone, including all the stats geeks as guaranteed winning at least 11 games. they’ll be lucky to make the playoffs now i think.
ind (-14) over STL, o/u – 45, colts (-900) rams (+600)
bye weeks are to penis noses as viagra is to regular penes. they both perform much better after both. this line started at 11.5 and it’s still not high enough. you would think i would have learned my lesson about these big spreads last week after getting slaughtered in vegas, but peyton has a look about him. i should have put some money down on the colts winning the super bowl.
CIN (pk) over chi, o/u – 42.5, bengals (off) bears (off)
i have no idea why the moneylines are off, but the line started at bengals -2.5, which is always an extremely fishy line to me. in any case, i think it’s interesting that carson palmer has been able to avoid the dbag label that USC quarterbacks usually get saddled with (rightfully so of course). in any case, it’s even more interesting that jay cutler is a bigger dbag than matt leinart, matt sanchez, and matt barkley put together. over…easily, take the over.
gb (-9) over CLE, o/u – 41, packers (-400) browns (+300)
were it not for the cribbs kickoff return the browns would not have covered last week goddammit. seriously, GOD. DAMN. IT. big bet.
min (+6) over PIT, o/u – 46, vikings (+210) steelers (-270)
if hines ward hadn’t dropped that pass, the browns don’t cover then either. GOD. EFFING. DAMN. IT. i think the steelers win this game, but i think it will be less than a td.
ne (-14.5) over TAM, o/u – 45, patriots (off) buccaneers (off)
apparently vegas really likes the pats to win this one. and after watching brady masturbate in the snow last week, would you ever bet the bucs straight up? tell you what, i’ll give anyone 5-1 if they bet 300 bob bucks on the buccaneers to win straight up this week.
sfo (+3) over HOU, o/u – 44, niners (+150) texans (-170)
i’m just about ready to jump off the niners bandwagon, but i’m going to give them a couple more games before doing so. especially against what has turned out to be a maddeningly inconsistent texans team. also, eff both of these cities.
nyj (-6.5) over OAK, o/u – 34.5, jets (-270) raiders (+210)
oh how the sexy have fallen. dear matt sanchez, i’m breaking up with you and getting back together with tom brady.
buf (+7) over CAR, o/u – 36.5, bills (+250) panthers (-330)
it’s a sad state of affairs when starting ryan fitzpatrick actually gives you a better shot at winning. i know the panthers looked ok last week, but don’t forget, jake delhomme still turned the ball over twice against a crappy bucs defense.
MIA (+6.5) over no, o/u – 47.5, dolphins (+220) saints (-300)
this just sets up too perfectly, parcells having groomed sean payton, the saints coming off a great win are due for an emotional letdown, a screwy offense that will minimize turnovers for the dolphins, saints on the road in an outdoor stadium. i like this one quite a bit actually.
atl (+4.5) over DAL, o/u – 47.5, falcons (+180) cowboys (-220)
i have trouble being objective about the cowboys obviously. otherwise, i’d say that this might be a trap as i think the falcons are much better than the cowboys. however the exciting win in overtime two weeks ago kinda made everyone forget that the cowboys didn’t play that great.
ari (+6.5) over NYG, o/u – 46.5, cardinals (+250) giants (-300)
just call me cap’n underdog this week. just have a feeling about this one.
phi (-7.5) over WAS, o/u – 37.5, eagles (-330) indigenous peoples (+250)
eff d-mac, eff andy reid, and eff the whole city of philadelphia for somehow losing to the worst team in the league and in the process losing me about 100 bucks. also dan snyder is one of the worst things to ever happen to the NFL. seriously, this guy has serious napoleon complex and has not done his part to revive the great rivalry between the pokes and the hawgs. i am considering adding the skins to my teams to contract from the league.
anyways, i know this week’s column was light on entertaining content, but that’s what happens when you wait until saturday afternoon to do this.
bob bucks.
moneyline lottery
20 bucks each on the following moneylines: STL, CLE, MIA, ari
moneyline i like a lot
100 bucks on buf
$50 – MIA
$50 – gb
$200 – chi-cin over
$20 big road favorites special – ind/nyj/ne
$20 chi-cin over/buf/gb/atl-dal over
dammit, i’m actually going to be pissed off if i do well this week.
I call this pic, "The Killing Field"
Name: Bob
11 responses so far ↓
1 "WON MONEY IN VEGAS" // Oct 24, 2009 at 5:29 pm
Ahh. What a great week Week 6 was. I mean, it started with a trip to Vegas, where I won a large amount of money (in the three digit range).
And then, I win the week in BTG for the second time this season. I’m back in the game, even after a horrible start to the year.
Even better, my girlfriend’s once-commanding lead in the season standings has been slashed to just one game. And I’m not too far behind the rest of the pack, especially not far behind Eric and what’s left of Fredo’s football prowess.
Bob, how was your week? Oh… right. Killing fields. Well, we can’t all be football geniuses.
WATCH AND LEARN
KC (+5) over sdo
San Diego is perhaps the biggest surprise this year. I mean they were very nearly AFC champions for the past three years. They still have a good O-line and a fearsome defense. What a disappointment. Meanwhile KC has managed to string together a few pleasant surprises this season, and home field advantage at Arrowhead is still worth a homedog pick. Big bet.
ind (-14) over STL
Say what you want about Indy, but they really haven’t been guilty of looking past opponents in the past. Have they?
CIN (pk) over chi
Is someone hurt or something? WTF is up with the line here?
CLE (+9) over gb
I like Shaun Rogers for 9 sacks here. Barbre is still starting, right? Man that guy sucks almost as much as Jeff Backus.
PIT (-6) over min
Game of the week. Fuck Minnesota in the anus. I’m sure Jared Allen gets like 9.5 sacks of Roethlesscheeseburgr here, but it doesn’t matter. Roethlechesburger gets like 5 TD anyway.
BYE (-14.5) over det
TAM (+14.5) over ne
Classic letdown game on the road. That game against Tennessee was surreal. It was like I was watching myself play Madden. The snow, the frequent passing to Randy Moss, everything.
HOU (-3) over sfo
San Francisco is in the middle of yet another historic collapse. Note that all of the California teams are pretty much worthless. I should know – I was forced to watch them every Sunday morning for far, far too long.
OAK (+6.5) over nyj
This game will be completely uninteresting, except if you’re counting the number of total interceptions. I’ll set the over/under at 7, and give me the over.
buf (+7) over CAR
Two of the most inconsistent teams in sports.
no (-6.5) over MIA
The Big Easy is giving up less than a touchdown? Does Vegas realize that this is an offensive machine that can wreak damage to opposing defenses on the scale of Hurricane Katrina? I realize that is a racist statement, but seriously people, this line is ridiculous.
atl (+4.5) over DAL
Ugh, Dallas really is confusing this year. Who are you, Tony Romo? Country bumpkin, or cold hearted killer? I’m guessing bumpkin.
NYG (-6.5) over ari
Coughlin probably personally inserted his penis into the bottom of each and every player after that devastating game last week. That should motivate them.
phi (-7.5) over WAS
Is this really the Monday Night Matchup? The NFL must be really pissed at both of these franchises.
BOB’S BUCKS
$100 NO
$25 more than 7 interceptions in the oak/nyj game
$25 no/nyg/phi
$25 tam/kc/atl
$25 buf/cle/pit
2 quanimal // Oct 24, 2009 at 5:42 pm
i’ll give you 4 to 1 on that interceptions bet.
3 Eric // Oct 24, 2009 at 8:02 pm
I think I won $50 last week — unless this stoopid midwesterner messed up. Lost $400 on JAX, PHI, NYJ, WAS, GB/DET. Won $450 on GB, NE, PIT, WAS/KC, NO/NYG.
IND over STL
NE over TB
GB over CLE
MIN over PIT
SF over HOU
SD over KC
BUF over CAR
NYJ over OAK
ATL over DAL — Big Bet
NO over MIA
CHI over CIN
NYG over ARI
PHI over WAS
Bob’s bucks:
ATL over DAL $500
MIN over PIT $500
SD/KC Over $200
ATL/DAL Over $200
NO/MIA Over $200
PHI/WAS Over $200
NYJ/OAK Over $200
4 "WON MONEY IN VEGAS" // Oct 25, 2009 at 8:28 am
$100 nyj-oak OVER
$100 ari-nyg OVER
5 helene // Oct 25, 2009 at 8:36 am
OK, must not lose the top spot in the picks this week. Wait to be annihilated, my friends!
SDO over KC
Ind over StL
Cin over Chi
Cle over GB
Pit over Min
NE over TB
Hou over SF
Oak over NYJ
Car over Buf
NO over Mia
Atl over Dal
NYG over Ari
Phi over Was
Bob’s bucks:
Atl $100
NO $100
Go Ohio! $100 Cin/Cle
Go Pennsyltucky! $100 Phi/Pit
Pit/Min over $50
6 alfredo // Oct 25, 2009 at 9:13 am
KC (+5) over sd
As someone whose children really need those 10.5+ Charger wins on the season, I am jinx picking against San Diego for the rest of the season.
ind (-14) over STL
After last week’s R&R (rest and rippin’ shit up) with me, Penisnose is all set to bang it on Sunday.
Chi (pk) over CIN
Come the hell on.
CLE (+9) over gb
Cleveland is trying to become Bob’s kryptonite.
min (+6) over PIT
Brett Favre lives for big games like this. And also money. He also lives for cold hard cash money which he loves more than his dead father and his wife’s old cancer. Go get ‘em, Brett!
ne (-14.5) over TAM
Thom Brady called me from across the pond and had this to say: “I’ve never been more excited to play a football game than this week. I think being back home in Great Britain has a lot to do with that. My first half will be a statement against the new age colonialism that our western leaders maintain while distracting the masses with flu epidemics and bad pop music. I’ll be throwing bombs. In the second half, I’ve got some new electro-sex-funk stuff that I’d like to explore.” Great plan, Thom!
HOU (-3) over sf
I wish Coach Singletary would drop his pants during the game. I bet he’d cover the spread! Hey-oh!
OAK (+6.5) over nyj
For once, “Erik” knows what he’s talking about. Fuck you, “Erik”!
CAR (-7) over buf
Trbl.
MIA (+6.5) over no
A little bit of a letdown for the Saints, and a rock hard Wildcat erection for the Dolphins. They are going to be up for this game, guys!
Atl (+4.5) over DAL
In a moment of candor this week, Tony Romo told me, “You know, I’ve fucked a lot of weird shit before. I’ve put my dick in some really crazy places. I mean, I’ve really thrown my shit out there, if you know what I mean. Hell, I’ve fucked a lot of animals – barnyard, zoo, whatever – but I’ve never fucked a Falcon.” Guess what Tony, this week the Falcon fucks you and hurts you doing it. Big bet, fuckers.
NYG (-6.5) and phi (-7.5) – Gimme the ol’ NFC East jinx.
7 alfredo // Oct 25, 2009 at 9:15 am
$50 atl
$50 atl-DAL UNDER/no-MIA OVER/phi-WAS UNDER
$25 KC/min/ind
8 quanimal // Oct 25, 2009 at 5:06 pm
for eric: i forgot that your single game picks were straight up. however, you missed the was/kc over.
jax +50
gb +50
pit +50
phi -50
nyj – 50
ne +50
was -50
gb/det over -200
no/myg over +200
was/kc over -100
total = (-50)
in any case, i fixed the chart to reflect the right total.
9 helene // Oct 25, 2009 at 6:03 pm
i forgot to write down my big bet. It was NO but if you can’t count it because it wasn’t recorded in my original picks, i will choose Phi in tomorrow’s game as my big bet.
10 quanimal // Oct 25, 2009 at 6:16 pm
helene…you’re becoming that student who’s always asking for an extension.
can’t give you NO, but i’ll give you phi for tomorrow.
11 helene // Oct 26, 2009 at 6:27 am
thanks prof. um, about that paper due wednesday…