there’s nothing quite as american as the tradition of watching football on thanksgiving.  more marketing genius by the NFL.  think about it, what does football have to do with pilgrims and native americans making fake peace with each other before a century long program of genocide?  and more importantly, what did people do on thanksgiving before they had games on thanksgiving?  my guess is that family gatherings were much more awkward without the common thread of football to help people to socialize over.  otherwise it’s gossiping about uncle billy who is probably cheating on aunt suzie or complaining about what a disappointment all the grandkids are.  my guess is that football probably reduces the amount of family gatherings that end in shouting matches.  unless you’re my family in which case, nothing can prevent the inevitable shouting match.  good times!

it should be noted that fredo’s bob bucks total reflects -200 that i forgot to take out last week.  in any case, another shitty week by everyone except fredo and helene moves back into first place.  at this point, i’ve pretty much given up.  last week, no matter how you picked, underdogs home teams, whatever, you didn’t do great.  vegas is on autopilot right now and is content to count its money.  you might think that last week a lot of fluky things happen, but gamblor knows all and knows that fluky things will happen that will affect the outcomes of games at this point in the season.  all part of the masterplan.  i mean, i guess i’ll hold out a little hope that i’ll get lucky and finish the season more than 5 or 10 games over .500, but i wouldn’t count on it if i were you.  on with the picks.  numbers from caesars and home team in all caps.

gb (-11.5) over DET, o/u – 48, packers (-700) lions (+500)
who would’ve thought that the lions browns game last week would wind up being the best game of the season so far. what stafford did at the end of that game is the stuff of legend. and if i were detroit, i would take some solace that the lions are well on their way to respectability again with a franchise qb for the forseeable future. but then again, they live in detroit, so it’s not really a lot of solace. especially since that franchise qb is not playing this week and their star wide receiver is listed as questionable on the injury report.

DAL (-13.5) over oak, o/u – 40.5, cowboys (-800) raiders (+550)
i wonder what al davis does for thanksgiving now that he’s turned into monte burns? i bet he has cardboard cutouts of snake stabler, jon matuszak, and marcus allen arranged around the dinner table while tom cable nervously plays along and carves the turkey. and then just for kicks, tom cable off and punches the marcus allen cutout, you know, cuz he’s black. also, please note that the spread is equal to the points that the cowboys have scored in the last 2 entire games.

DEN (+6.5) over nyg, o/u – 42, broncos (+220) giants (-300)
no idea. just going with the home team here. the line seems awfully big too if you ask me. perhaps it’s a trap. but whatevs, are you gonna bet against the orton? ok, maybe that’s not a convincing argument. are you gonna bet on penis nose jr. on the road? i got nothing kids, i just want some freaking turkey.

you know what, i’m gonna finish finish the weekend games on friday. i’m too distracted by the thought of gaining 12 pounds tomorrow. happy pranksgiving everyone!