so this morning at work, as i take my leisurely stroll across the internet, it seems that the major story is that so far americans have donated over 8 million dollars to haiti relief efforts via the magic of text message (or should i say black magic?  get it?).  don’t get me wrong, i’m glad that money is being raised, but i’m uncomfortable by the pat on the back the american public seems to be giving itself.  i guess the prevailing logic behind this is that new technology has given us a new and better way to help our fellow humans.  maybe i’m a jerk, but this all feels wrong to me.  my logic is that we’re lazy s.o.b.’s who will only help only out of convenience.  here’s my problem with adopting the “technology is amazing and helping humans” angle.  was it really that fucking hard to donate money before?  why didn’t we donate this much after katrina or after the tsunami, when we were actually better off financially?  all you had to do was go online, go to a website, and make your donation.  time spent = 5 minutes.  it’s not so much that the new technology has enabled us to help.  we’ve always been able to help.  it’s just that we only choose to help when it doesn’t involve too much work on our part.  and apparently, 5 minutes was too much.  they say that things like this bring out the best in people.  i’m inclined to believe that it truly reveals our weaknesses.  i’m not saying don’t donate.  by all means, go and see what you can do to help.  but also, ask yourself why haven’t we helped more.

i know that doesn’t have anything to do with football, but i needed to get that off my chest.  i also needed to draw attention away from the fact that i was pretty much wrong about all the games last week.  but whatevs, wildcard weekend is overrated anyways.  the really good games start now.  as always, numbers from caesar’s and home team in caps.

ari (+7) over NO, o/u – 57, cardinals (+220) saints (-300)
as much bashing of jesus boy that i’ve done over the years, kurt warner was amazing last week. and i’ve felt this way since last year, but at this point, it’s clear to me that he should be a slam dunk hall of famer. isn’t it crazy to think that he used to back up matt leinart? the saints have a lot going for them this week. home field, an extra week of rest, people over-valuing last week’s win over an overrated packers team. but last week’s game was the single greatest game i’ve seen by a qb all year. even better than some of peyton’s games this year. i think the home field is negated by the fact that the game is indoors which only amplify warner’s powers. and i think the saints ended the year very badly. and it’s kinda been this way all year, but i think the saints play with too much emotion. and when it comes to emotion vs. the robotic efficiency of team jesus christ’s qb1, well, you can guess which side of the debate I fall.

IND (-6.5) over bal, o/u – 44, colts (-300) ravens (+220)
not many people know this, but penis nose spend the last 2 weeks in thailand on one of those sex-tours. i was skyping with him last weekend and you could see at least 4 passed out, borderline legal aged, and nude women in the background. have you ever seen anyone shoot up horse over the internet? it’s not a pretty sight. but he said he just needed to get it out of his system so he could concentrate on winning another superbowl. i asked him about winning the MVP award for the fourth time and he said, “well if that stands for ‘Most Vaginas Penetrated’, then i should have won every MVP since michael irvin retired.”

MIN (-3) over dal, o/u – 46, vikings (-135) cowboys (+115)
the jinx worked last week, so i really have no choice but to keep the mojo going. fredo and i discussed this game at length the other day and came to the conclusion that dallas has a very good chance of winning this game. mostly because jerry jones offered brett favre 300 bucks + use of a luxury suite during the NBA all star game. god i’m so excited/nervous about this game, i can’t even talk about it anymore.  also, it will feel very good to force favre into fake-retirement again.  lastly, for real gambling purposes, this one is a stay away.

SDO (-7) over nyj, o/u – 42.5, chargers (-33) jets (+220)
believe it or not, this line is a trap. there has never been a more perfect storm for vegas to get people to bet on an inferior team. the public will overvalue the jets because they won in the wildcard round. but vegas knows that they beat a not that good bengals team. further exacerbating the situation is that the jets play in NYC which will inflate their value even more in the mind of the public since their win got that much more pub.  the passing game of san diego is probably better than the saints at this point.  norv has quietly turned into a competent coach this season. do i think he’ll blow it at some point this playoffs? of course i do, but i think this is going to be a blowout.